Project Bettyway

Last night I had a dream I was on Project Runway. No, I can’t sew or design clothes in real life or in this dream.

The contract to be on the show was printed on a big colorful silk scarf that I signed with Tim Gunn.

For the first challenge I had to team up with some guy (who could sew thank god)(cuz the outfit was made and I have no recollection of sewing, but I do remember planning the the outfit and it got done some how.)

The outfit was like a weird 80s/90s rave-like outfit. with big psychedelic bellbottoms, suspenders, the model (may have been me?! really skinny and all that shit!?) had a mohawk and wild 80s make up. Yeah, the model was me for a while at least. I was thin! How nice it was to be thin and hot. Even tho I was wearing that monstrosity. Which was considered cool in the dream.

There was a lot of ‘hurry up and wait’ cuz it’s a TV show so I woke up before I could be judged. I remember thinking that if I get voted off I don’t care just doing one round is cool cuz I really have no place being here since I can’t sew or design.

Jean Plaidy’s The Princess of Celle – Sophia Dorthea of Celle

Sophia Dorothea of Brunswick and Lunenburg (Celle line) (15 September 1666 – 13 November 1726)

What a sad, tragic story.

She had an unusually happy childhood because her parents married for love which was rare among these royals. Then, at 15 she was married to George (who later became King George I of England) who was totally crass and rude and mean. He did not like her because she was too well-mannered and people liked her whereas he naturally alienated people.  What a dick.

She had to go live in Hannover. Her mother-in-law hated her especially because Sophia’s father was supposed to have married her and when he saw her he was like ew I’m not marrying her and he went and married Sophia’s mother. The Duke’s mistress hated her because everyone liked Sophia.

She ended up being imprisoned for having an affair. It was silly, since everyone had affairs. The 2 evil women – her-mother-in-law and the duke’s mistress made it happen. She was imprisoned for the last 20 or 30 years of her life. It was a cushy castle not a prison prison. That’s really sad. Her children that she was obligated to have for George tried to get her out of prison but never did. She loved her children, so she had some happiness in her life.

She never made it to England, but her son became George II.

The Princess of Celle by Jean Plaidy

Not one of the best Plaidy books, but I am intent on reading them all!

I spead Santorum. You should too.

I spread Santorum the other night on his facebook page. By the next day I was unable to post on it. LOL.

These aren’t the best ones I posted, just the ones that I took screengrabs of. It was kind of fun defacing his fb wall.

Spreading Santorum http://spreadingsantorum.com

http://spreadingsantorum.com/

Definitions of Santorum:
Urban Dictionary
Wikipedia

Spreadingsantorum.com

What I’ve been reading: Jean Plaidy’s Charles II Trilogy and Stuart Saga and some Max Barry (in between Plaidy books)

Hello, world. I haven’t written in a while. I’ve been busy. I’ve taken up BOLLYWOOD dancing. I know. How cool is that? It’s wicked fun. That’s not why I haven’t written. It’s just something new for a change.

I haven’t written because I wasn’t compelled to while reading the books below because they weren’t particularly mind-blowingly compelling as some of her other books. But, I still enjoyed them:

Charles II Trilogy
The Wandering Prince Vol. 1, read August – Sept 2011
Health Unto His Majesty Vol. 2, read Sept 2011
Here Lies our Sovereign Lord Vol. 3, read Sept – Oct 2011

Stuart Saga
The Three Crowns Vol. 1, read Oct-Nov 2011
The Haunted Sisters Vol. 2 – read December 2011
The Queen’s Favorites Vol. 3 - read December 2011

So, what did I learn?

Charles I reign: 1600 – 1649

• His dad was James I who took over after Elizabeth I. (Sidenote: James I was Mary Queen of Scots‘ son.)
• His wife, Henrietta Maria of France, is depicted as a wildly manipulative Catholic responsible for leading Charles I into bad decisions, i.e. not playing well with parliament and flaunting his Catholicism when the people had issues with Catholicism because of its intolerance and inquisition-like practices.
• Charles I was so out of touch with parliament and his subjects that they dethroned and killed him.  It’s an awesomely dramatic story.

I also learned some things about…

Puritans

• Puritains in England in the 1600s were assholes. Yeah, these are the same Puritans that emigrated to Uh-mer-i-ca and started the decimation of the Native American population.
• They put Charles I on trial and executed him for being a Catholic and not playing nice with parliament! That’s pretty extreme. I mean, they didn’t have to behead the guy. Real nice people. Growing up in the US you learn about the Puritans in school but not the unpleasant details that suggest they were fundamentalist whack jobs. No shit.
• They banned dancing, singing, theatre, laughing, whatever they deemed ostentatious dress etc. and forced people to pray using their rituals and prayers. They sound not unlike today’s tea baggers and way right republicans. So, yeah, the US was founded by assholes. See? I knew something was up with that.

Charles II reign: 1649 – 1651

• Was a letch. Not particularly likable, but he kept the peace in England because he learned from his dad’s mistakes. E.g. don’t be a militant catholic, and play nice with parliament. Like, don’t be a douchebag.
• I wish she would have talked more about his dogs as I freaking love King Charles Spaniels, especially the tri-color ones.

I love tricolor King Charles Spaniels. This photo used without permission from Britt-Marie Sohlström's flickr account. (Sorry, Britt-Marie, but no one reads my blog so I didn't think I needed to ask your permission. Love your dogs, btw.)

• So, Charles spent most of his life on the continent until it was safe for him to return to England to be king. That part of the book isn’t very interesting. But, what is interesting is considering what his dad’s overthrow and execution and this hiding would psychologically do to him. Like later he avoided confrontation, told people what they wanted to hear and made friends with everyone as if his life depended on it.
• Charles II has no legit kids to take over after him so he took an interest in his only brother’s (James) 2 legit kids – Mary and Anne. Charles made sure the girls were raised Church of England gals.
• So Charles dies. Boo hoo.

Charles II’s brother, James II reign: 1685 – 1688, note: a short reign

• James is out of touch like his dad was and was also staunch Catholic. He too had a seriously Catholic wife. Everyone was like, “Dude, don’t be all outwardly militantly Catholic cuz it’s a fucking problem, you know? And freakin’ play nice with Parliament. Look what happened to your dad.” He didn’t listen. He wasn’t a malicious dick, but more like lacking in the good sense and social skills.
  • Sidenote: I’m not entirely sure why people loathed Catholics so much. Was it because Catholics were intolerant and wanted to force their religious rituals on others? They couldn’t co-exist peacefully with other religions. Were they really that intolerant? That’s the impression I got but it’s not something that spelled out. It’s hard to believe they’d be so difficult to work with. Like, if you are in the cult business and want people to do things your way, there are more effective ways to win them over to your side than fear and terror. I feel like there’s more to all that that I don’t know about. Or maybe it is as simple as that and I just have a problem processing that the Catholic church could have been so nutty. No, wait, it was the Puritans too.
• So, the people drove James out of the country. In the book, you don’t really care because he seems out of touch and you know he is not a diligent or caring leader/ruler.
• But, what’s really dramatically interesting is that his two daughters were manipulated to support dethroning their dad. There was a lot of love between them then this happened. Even into the girls’ reigns – there are understanding, polite letters with their dad up until a certain point. And you’re sure that they carry that guilt with them forever.

Queen Mary and King William reign: 1689 –  1694/1702

• So, while Charles II was alive he arranged for Mary (James‘ eldest daughter) to marry her first cousin William of Orange (which was in Holland or somewhere like that).
• William was an unlikeable, insensitive dick especially to Mary! He lacked social skills you can say.
• Mary freaking ended up liking him and deferring to him when the crown was hers and he was king because of her. She was disappointingly wimpy. She was an emotionally abused wife who adored her abusive husband. You just want to slap her and say wake the fuck up! Grow a spine!
• Check this out - William’s mother was Charles‘ and James‘ sister! Can you believe that?! That means William and Mary were first cousins. Oy vey.

King William and Queen Mary. Yikes.

• So Mary dies. William dies. Mary‘s sister Anne takes over.

Good Queen Anne reign: 1702 – 1714

• Anne had a happy marriage with Prince George of Denmark which was unusual in arranged royal marriages. So that was kind of charming.
• Anne had over a dozen pregnancies in her life. Most all miscarried or died shortly after birth except one, Prince William, Duke of Gloucester, who lived to be about 10. He, BTW, had hydrocephalus, which I find intriguing. I wish there were more paintings of him.

Hydrocephalic Prince William, Duke of Gloucester

• The books focus on Anne‘s yenta-like relationships with her gal pals at her court. It was kind of tedious. Could have been edited down a bit.

While I was waiting for my next Plaidy book to arrive, I started reading Machine Man by Max Barry. It’s OK. It reads fast. Doesn’t have the depth that Plaidy’s books do. Not that I’m saying Plaidy books are great literature. Just when you compare the two, Barry is like reading something written by a robotic, autistic engineer who can’t read people. And, Plaidy is like reading something by an old, well read lady who gossips all day.

I just got The Princess of Celle, of which I’ve read 1 page. I continue on my Jean Plaidy journey →

autistic alphabet. i should learn this.

autistic alphabet. i should learn this., originally uploaded by bettyx1138.

men in suits

i don’t get u. i don’t get it. u look douchey. pls stop it.

Another Plaidy book, I love Switzerland, and Lake Como Italy is Boring

Just finished Plaidy’s Here Lies our Sovereign Lord, Vol. 3 of the Charles II trilogy. What a disappointment! Don’t read it. I suspect her book publisher was like can you squeeze one more book in like about anything just publish something? It was about Charles II and his relationships with 3 of his favorite mistresses. Like, who cares? It’s unlike her other books.

i love switzerland

Went to Switzerland last month. Pics here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bettyx1138/sets/72157627624346793/detail/

I love Switzerland. I want to live there. It’s so civilized there.

We also went to Lake Como for the last few days; It was booooring. Bellagio was like being at a mall in the US that’s set up to look like an old Italian hill town on a lake. It caters so heavily to American and northern euro tourists (old ones) that it feels as if it’s lost its authenticity.

The best times we had there were when we hiked up into the hills above the small towns, away from the cheeseball tourist spots.

m sick, at least w/ gall bladder stones; hope it’s not worse

yippee!

so after about a month of on and off bad to moderate symptoms i had a sonogram (2 days ago, friday) which showed gall badder stones.

the GI dr however was like i’m not convinced that’s the cause. he said something about the walls of the gall bladder looking normal and not inflamed.

so tomorrow (monday) i’ll talk to him again. he should get blood test results re: liver and pancreas.

m only mildly queasy now. been taking zegerid which has helped a lot w/ the hard core bad pain and nausea.

of course i’ve been reading on my own on the interwebs.

could be pancreatitis. or could be pancreatic cancer. hope it’s simply gall bladder stones or pancreatitis.

i want to be fine to go to suisse on 9/2/11 goddammit!!

it doesn’t ease my worry that I’ve dropped 10 lbs in the past month. not cool. could b cuz i haven’t eaten much cuz i’ve been nauseous. but it’s also a cancer symptom. i am glad to drop weight as i’ve always been overweight but i’d prefer to lose it from normal dieting and working out.

i feel like i’ve had bad luck throughout my life and getting cancer would fit in. like yep just my luck that the worse thing that could happen to me has happened.

i just need to talk to GI dr tomorrow and find out plan of action. goddammit.

my idea of a perfect day

my cat and a good book in bed. reading. all day. no disturbances or interruptions.