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i like jared spool

i’ve never written about work-related stuff here because this retarded blog is supposed to be a fun place. but, the following was so fun and enjoyable that i am compelled to post about it. it is in no way retarded, so i might have to rename my blog.

the illustrious mr. jared spool gave a talk at a NYC UX org a few weeks ago but i couldn’t make it.

i’d never heard him speak before but i’d read his nerd-famous blog brain sparks which is ok.

luckily for us netizens, the presentation slides and audio are on the intertubes –
http://www.slideshare.net/jmspool/revealing-design-treasures-from-the-amazon

this is an especially remarkable talk because most IA/UX speakers are overly-serious and uptight and at times boring  (imho). but, mr. spool is not any of those things which is a great relief! its like phew someone like me to whom i can relate.

and of course, he’s a smart guy so he’s worth listening to.

i loved young victoria the movie!

looooooved it!

a teenaged grrl becomes queen and tells her mother to f* off. she bosses around old grown men. ppl bow to her constantly. she does what she wants, not what they want her to do. and she falls in love for real with a really nice guy who supports her being queen. and they both want to help ppl. it all brings a tear to your eye. why can’t my life be like this.

when it ended i was like what its over already? i wanted it to go on.

check it out.

The Places In Between by Rory Stewart

one of the most interesting and inspiring books i’ve read.

u learn abt what’s really going on with the ppl in afghanistan. its a quagmire of hundreds of feudal ‘lords’ and villages. some still fighting w/ each other for reasons decades old. they’re still living like they did in the 1500s in many ways.

he visited one place where this guy had memorized his family lineage back thousands of years. it was a living oral literacy, like b4 ppl read and wrote stuff down.

most jarring is that the ppl could neither read nor write almost everywhere. yet they fetishize the koran and own a copy. they memorize it arabic but do not understand arabic. these aren’t the fundamentalist terrorists either.

there is no electricity or plumbing in most of the country! and there are serious food shortages almost everywhere. so many ppl were starving that they had to go to refugee camps. most ppl dont travel more than few hrs walk from the home during their whole lives.

western govts and NGOs trying to help don’t understand; these ppl need food and clothing and housing before anything else can b done like education and womens rights and setting up websites in the country.

the taliban were ASSHOLES. some villages are empty and blackened from fires because the taliban murdered and pillaged and torched them. this one guy didn’t grow a beard as taliban’s allah says he should so the tali-dicks cut his toes off. the taliban dynamite fished all the fish out of a lake in another place so there were no fish there now. assholes.

most ppl hated the taliban but some liked them cuz they (talidicks) had done something good for them.

b4 the taliban occupied afghanistan, the freaking russians were there and were almost as bad as the taliban to them.

definitely check it out: The Places In Between

how to have longer days and longer nights

if someone could engineer slowing the earth’s spin rotations we would have longer days and nights. we’d get more done during the day and get more sleep.

NASA should work on this.

idea for a genetically modified dog

genetically modify a dog so that it attracts mosquitos away from you!

that way, you’d never get bit by a mosquie cuz they’d go right to rover.

ps – don’t worry PETA ppl, i’m not serious. its just a thought. dogs were bred 100s of years ago after all to attract fleas away from ppl.

genetically engineered sheep ideas

what if they could genetically engineer sheep so that when they bleat it sounded like a dog barking. it would freak out passersby. and maybe it would scare away wolves. and maybe scare burglars away from the barn and farm house.

oh wait, this is even better — what if they could genetically modify sheep so their bleats sounded like they were saying the word “ass”? that would b cool. its so close to bahhhhhhhh. aaaaasssssss. aaaasssssss. that would b cool.

weird dream

i dreamt that judy was dating christopher guest. he’s pretty old now, close to her age.

they were moving in together.

he gave me somme dialogue in his next movie. in the movie i played his daughter who he bickered w/ but in a not bad way.

there was something about someone either kris or judy changing apts in nyc. or we all had to move in w/ judy and christpher like me and kris were kids again.

fucking weird!!

newark continental check-in fiasco

ok so we get to EWR, newark airprot, and its a cattle yard. 2 many ppl.

we’re flying to cancun. (end destination akumal, cancun is heinous.)

usually u go to an airport and look on the departures monitors list which gate(s) to check in for your flight. (if we had no luggage, we probaby could have done the auto-check in which is preferable but we had our snorkel crap which takes up too much room to take in a carry on.)

anyway, so there was no column on the departures monitors telling anyone at which gate to check in. and, this is the retarded part, all the check in desks were labeled either domestic or international. u’d think that without any discerning labels or indications anywhere in the airport that if you are doing on an international flight u can check in at any international desk. and the same for domestic. what else could you deduct?!?

well, the lines were fuck all long – snaking through the airport – u had to make an effort to figure out where any line ended!

so we get in the 1st line for international. and its like 6 miles long like winding thru the whole fucking airport. it was like a mad max dystopia or something.

everyone is like WTF why is this is this insane? ppl r cranky especially me.

so i’m like this is retarded and go on a reconnaissance mission for a shorter line. we never would have made the flight if we’d had to stand in that line.

just for fucks sake i ask a cuntynental employee where to check in for cancun hoping maybe he’d give me some inside info on where to find a shorter line that will take less than 5 hours to get thru. and he’s like downstairs level 2. i’m like what. how the fuck is anyone supposed to KNOW that?!

like all these ppl in all these lines — literally hundreds of ppl — are going to specific places but none of the signage had the names of the places are anywhere to be seen. all these ppl have no way to know which lines to be in. no signs, no announcements. WTF is cuntynental thinking?

ok that’s my rant. i made it to akumal. that’s what matters.

note that the next day, this security breach happened in this same place:
Newark terminal locked down; search continues for man

there’s no excuse for what i experienced. there’s some serious mismanagement and disorganization there. i use continental cuz i have enough miles now for a(nother) free ticket. and, for this trip it was the cheapest flight. next time i’ll pay more and use jet blue from JFK.

st. marks books staff r still snobs. that’s kinda nice.

sometimes i lament that NYC is getting all squeaky clean and nice and friendly.

like remember when there was garbage on the streets? when times square was the epitome of seedy? when going east of ave A u risked getting mugged? the ppl at the strand were consistently ornery? i moved to the east village to get away from bourgeoisie middle america but shit its all fucking bourg-y now.

anyhoo, today i go into st. marks books, my fave bookstore. i ask the guy if they have this book in stock. his response was old school ny along the lines of “that’s a title this bookstore would carry.” i was like ok chill out its only a book.

i ended up getting lulu in marrakech. which apparently is high brow enuf for the almighty st. marks books.

update: lulu in marrakech was really good u should get it.