why is dealing w/ ppl such a chore sometimes?


i dont want to leave my apt often. is htat so wrong? why do i feel like something’s wrong w/ me for it? fuck it.

this is why ppl get houses in the country — to get away from ppl and be alone.

however if i do that i will get bored too quickly.

so i stay in nyc and stay in my apt and dont answer phone or buzzer. thats normal to me but if i tell anyone i fear they’ll think i’,m weird.

next thing –=— kims video. i’ve been going there for like over 10 years, when it was on ave A then when they opened one on st. marks…. i really make an effort to be nice to the ppl who work there. i;m not an asshole ppl usually like me. i;m a regular. but these ppl really make no effort to be nice to anyone really. good lord. i really dont care but really now.

another thing 0—- i think i;m having midlife crisis. … i feel like i;m missing out sometimes on not having a b/f partner thing… but wtf. there are place i want to go to on vaca that would best be experienced as a couple thing. who do i have to go w/? no one! who would want to go w/ me? no one. well no one i’d want to go w/. i don;t really care that much. but it would b nice u know.

i swear, it really is impossible to find someone i’;m compatible w/ cuz i’m so … i was gonna say weird but i;m now i just have standards. and the things i like aren’t typical and prevelant tastes amongst yer average person on the street.

whatevs. fck it.

i went to they gym to day. that is good.

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