100% pure brand coffee bean eye cream experiment starts now

today i bought this 100% pure brand coffee bean eye cream.

i am skeptical about cosmetics that make such claims yet i still get an occasional burst of hope that something might eliminate or lessen the sunken dark half moons under my eyes.

so, starting today (technically yesterday 11/6/13) i am going to put it on one eye and after a month evaluate whether there is any difference between my 2 eyes. i’m not expecting it to. if it works i will be overwhelmed with joy. i’ll let you know  on or around 12/6/13.

ps – i’m not going to post any ‘before’ pics because  i don’t want to publicize how horrendous my eyes are.

100% pure brand coffee bean eye cream

i need a trainer

i need to see a trainer again but am on a budget and can’t. i really need to get more exercise on my own goddammit. it’s hard.

maybe i should take up horseback riding again… i used to love it soooo much. everything seems like such an ordeal and a hassle. i’d prefer to hang out on my patio and putter in my garden and watch birds.

am i getting old? meh. whatevs.

the daily whine: my life is so boring

my life is so boring

i go to work all week at moderately soul-crushing job. (it’s like the least soul-crushing i can find.)

i see a trainer once a week on tuesdays.

i do a bollywood dance class on mondays.

i do a hip hop bollywood dance class on thursdays.

sundays i go to the gym.

i have some upcoming trips to look forward to – a week in northern CA in july, then 2 weeks in southern italia and amalfi. ok fine.

i read these lovely jean plaidy books.

i do have a great bff to hang out with every day. technically my ex-b/f but he’s just my bff now. and that’s fine and lovely the way it is. we’ve been together in one way or another for 20 yrs now! holy shiznit!

i don’t have the energy to do anything arty cuz i work 40+ hours/week.

i have to do some retirement savings planning and calculations and save a bunch so i can retire early to get that little extra social security (which is not much really) and live off savings or interest.  that way i can have a life again without having to have a wage slave job. goddamn it.

i want to spend time doing the silversmithing jewelry making i started learning and doing. and maybe real art like urban bedtime stories again.

OMG I’m old enough to need BIFOCALS WTF?!

I knew it would happen at some point but I didn’t feel it was time yet, but it is. Yes, gentle readers, it is official that this betty needs (gulp) bifocals.

For months, when I read in bed, I’ve been using these clip-on magnifiers that I have for making jewelry.

Me actively repressing the idea that I need bifocals.

So I’m out doing errands yesterday and I pass the eyeglass place that I’ve used forever – Manhattan Eyeworks. (They’re very nice there and their prices are cheaper than other places. I recommend them except for everything except for buying frames. Their frames are kind of boring. Get frames elsewhere like at Devonshire Optical,  Myoptics, Fabulous Fanny’s, etc.)

Anyway, so reluctantly swing in to see if I can get an eye exam on the fly or schedule one and they could see me then. So, yeah. It was a moment of slight depression when he said I need them. They have “progressive” lenses now, like a gradient for the lens so you don’t see the block where the bifocal part is.

So, whatevs, I’ll bring in one of my frames today to have done. It will be nice to see better. It’s only been 1.5 years since my last lens upgrade but I’ve noticed I can’t see distances as well too.

Sigh.

Look – I’m not as fat as I was a year ago!

moi on city island., originally uploaded by bettyx1138.

m sick, at least w/ gall bladder stones; hope it’s not worse

yippee!

so after about a month of on and off bad to moderate symptoms i had a sonogram (2 days ago, friday) which showed gall badder stones.

the GI dr however was like i’m not convinced that’s the cause. he said something about the walls of the gall bladder looking normal and not inflamed.

so tomorrow (monday) i’ll talk to him again. he should get blood test results re: liver and pancreas.

m only mildly queasy now. been taking zegerid which has helped a lot w/ the hard core bad pain and nausea.

of course i’ve been reading on my own on the interwebs.

could be pancreatitis. or could be pancreatic cancer. hope it’s simply gall bladder stones or pancreatitis.

i want to be fine to go to suisse on 9/2/11 goddammit!!

it doesn’t ease my worry that I’ve dropped 10 lbs in the past month. not cool. could b cuz i haven’t eaten much cuz i’ve been nauseous. but it’s also a cancer symptom. i am glad to drop weight as i’ve always been overweight but i’d prefer to lose it from normal dieting and working out.

i feel like i’ve had bad luck throughout my life and getting cancer would fit in. like yep just my luck that the worse thing that could happen to me has happened.

i just need to talk to GI dr tomorrow and find out plan of action. goddammit.

my idea of a perfect day

my cat and a good book in bed. reading. all day. no disturbances or interruptions.

acid wake and bake, and rambling thoughts on writing a memoir

just watched super high me in which this pot smoker guy abstains from pot for 30 days and does a bunch of tests, then smokes pot constantly for 30 days and does the same tests. (for the record i do not smoke pot now. nor have i done so in years.)

i posted  the following in the video’s comments and realized this is the kinda shit i should b writing about:

once when i was in college i took acid every morning for a week starting on a sunday. (i’d wake up and take it and go back to sleep then wake up trippping 🙂 i missed all classes mon – wed. i was barely tripping on thurs so i went. friday i wasn’t tripping at all even tho i ate acid 1st thing upon waking. that was a long time ago. i couldnt do it now. was fun. i have no regrets.

below is me tripping when i was in kollege. this foto is in the summer of “85. i did the experiment described above in a year b4 or after this.

ps – i dont care who knows. i have no regrets. i dont think anyone reads this anyway.  i really should write my memoirs of hampshire and b4 and after. i think mine would b more interesting than rich’s memoir of HC (which i am in as a minor character), Don’t Follow Me, I’m Lost: A Memoir of Hampshire College in the Twilight of the ’80s. not to knock his. if u r someone reading this (omg! i has a reader!) u should check it out.

i can’t write tho. i am now. this blog thing is sort of an exercise to get me to write.

i;m good at writing software functional reqs and specs.

i looove reading fiction and good non-fiction, but for the fuck of me i can not write fiction or elegant-sounding non-fiction. i dont even try.

that’s what i like about david cross’ new book, i drink for a reason; he writes like how he talks. he doesn’t write how they try to teach u in school to write storytelling or fiction. its like reading him is like hearing him speak. i can relate to that. cuz i feel like when i write its like just what i;m thinking verbatim — no fancy shit. no following the elements of grammatical style to sound like tolstoy or something.

i like kafka and tolstoy.

i am totally free-associating now.

blow me!

yeah i should get around to writing my memoirs. the story arc would b my fucked up childhood and being dpressed starting at a very early age, then up to now when holy shit i have been depression-free for the 1st time in my life for as long as a year! its a record. i think i’ve finally become a human.

irish setter

note to self: if I ever have a place in the country, get an Irish setter. love those.

i dreamed i was on reno 911

had a dream that i was performing w/ reno 911 in some eastern EU or former russian country like estonia but i named it ASS-tonia and they liked that.

like we went there to solve a crime but all got captured by the hillbillly psycho but we of course got away. all sorts of weird details but i’ll skip those cuz even i’d get bored writing those out. but i fit right in w/ their weirdness and they liked me.

then paris hilton and nicole ritchie were there. i saved nicole from drowning in a freezing river (paris couldnt care less)(nicole drove her car wrecklessly on a road next to river, paris and i bailed br it flipped over and went into the freezing river) and nicole’s mother was endlessly thankful. and nicole wanted to be my friend. her dad was coming home (not lionel ritchie) and she was afraid he;d be mad at her. i told her to go tell him she loves him.

back to the reno show… we did a run through of the last show and we were ready to go home and we were all really happy and i was like yeah i’ll finally have my name on IMDB. and i hoped reno 911 ppl would use me again.

😀